he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
