I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize