if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
