i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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