She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
