I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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