we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
