Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
