R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes