Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
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I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
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Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved