Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.