she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship