lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
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you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after