Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying

(203): View more from Connecticut

but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she

Fav 34 4946 1245
share tweet
(419): View more from Ohio

your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy

Fav 15 1568 2807
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(850): View more from Florida

lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.

Fav 35 4558 1151
share tweet
(402): View more from Nebraska

so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.

Fav 13 4256 1856
share tweet
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(402): View more from Nebraska

Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile

Fav 22 1267 5403
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood

Fav 22 5545 1903
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(574): View more from Indiana

its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?

Fav 4 1148 2142
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?

Fav 2 545 664
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(716): View more from New York

I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship

Fav 1 111 87
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT