Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.