Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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