Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize