its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
