I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize