yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
