when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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