I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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