porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
