Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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