Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
