I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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