It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
