I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
