Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
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I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
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I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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