honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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