you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
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