I can tuck mytits in my pants
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize