i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
