just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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