my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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