Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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