John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
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You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
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I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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