everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Randomize