in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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