I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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