I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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