Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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