i don't like sucking hair
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
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I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
bring money and cleavage
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
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