for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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