I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
