I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
