'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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