I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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