Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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