You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
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explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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