I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
