She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
