My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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