Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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