i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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