There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
