I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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