whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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