sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
