So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Randomize
