I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
