It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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