it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
