I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
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I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
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He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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