Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize