This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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