When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
